Tag Archives: poop jokes

Ten More Things My Geek Brain Makes Me Do

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Photo Art by Andrew Mason, Used by permission via CC License

After such an enthusiastic response from my initial article on the dumb, weird, and baffling things my geek brain makes me do, I’ve collected a few more and garnered the courage to put them out there.  These are, after all, the secret crazy things I normally keep to myself. After years of being the weird kid, I finally found that comfortable spot between being the cute, quirky chick and being totally and completely socially awkward. So here are more of my personal quirks I’m willing to share and hedging my bets that I’m not alone. And as always, feel free to share a handful of yours. I cracked up at the last batch.

  1. Sitting in front of my working computer with my email open, my phone will chime that I’ve received a new message and I will peck out a response on tiny on-screen keyboard instead of normal, human-size keyboard two inches from my hands.
  2. Poop jokes and general toilet humor don’t really strike my funny bone. They are fine, just not for me. However WORDS like rectal, flatulence, and fart make me giggle.
  3. I find Post-Its fascinating. Not just fun, cool, handy, or nifty. Absolutely fascinating.
  4. I try to turn my eyeballs to just the right angle to see that little speck of microscopic reflection from my glasses. I’m aware how stupid I look but don’t care. I can see creatures crawling on my eyeball! MY EYEBALL!**
  5. I keep score in my head. I gets points for various things throughout the day and I keep a running tally. No one else is playing; I just get points. (Things like coming up with a song in response to something someone said, winning a minor argument, not tripping up the steps when my hands are full, using my ninja skills to catch something, that sort of thing)
  6. I firmly believe I have dormant Ninja skills. (See Above)
  7. I’m prone to highly sympathetic reactions to movies. For instance, I’ve only ever received one speeding ticket in my life. It was right after I saw The Fast and the Furious. Having recently seen The King’s Speech, I have to consciously resist the urge to speak with my terrible, nearly-offensive-to-the-British-subjects, English accent. By the way, amazing movie. Go Brits!
  8. The rules of grammar be damned, in my head, ellipses and parentheses are perfectly acceptable to use repeatedly in writing…

    Comic from xkcd.com

  9. I worry that I have too many games on my iPhone and that I won’t look productive enough if someone steals it.
  10. I love colored Sharpies. I have the whole set. I smile when I see the Sharpie display and am compelled at the sight to profess my love aloud. I never use them. For anything. If I need to mark something with the ink of permanence I always use the black one. But I have the whole set. And I love colored Sharpies.

**Disclaimer: I know I can’t see germs on my eyeball. I know it’s just vitreous gel breaking apart. But germs just sound cooler. So I’ve decided that mine are germs.  Dang it.