Lexicon

Standard

The blog title may be slightly misleading. While what follows is, in fact, a list, it is difficult to classify the contents as words. At least for me. This list contains words that I hear on a regular basis that are not ACTUALLY WORDS! Yes, I went Billy Mays there for a moment. But it is every ounce of self-control not to physically twitch when the following words are used. Mostly because they are NOT WORDS!!!!!! (Now look what you’ve made me do. I’m violating grammar rules for punctuation because of this.)

Polk-ee-dots

Polka dots, I get. What the hell are polk-ee-dots? This one is particularly problematic as I work in an arts and crafts industry by day and polka-dots are sort of thing for these people.  As are, apparently, polk-ee-dots.

New-cue-ler

When President GW Bush did it, it was sad. When anyone else does it given the extreme amount of backlash, ribbing, and downright cruelty that emerged from President Bush’s mispronunciation of it, it is sad and ridiculous.

El-oh-el

As in saying LOL in verbal communication. For the record LOL is actually supposed to be a typing shortcut for Laughing Out Loud. Admittedly it is now used as an indication of being mildly amused and rarely means the sender has actually laughed out loud but has really just blown more air out of their nose than normal. But when physically talking with a person, using the term el-oh-el is ludicrous. JUST LAUGH! Or giggle or chuckle or make that weird guttural “hungph” sound humans make when mildly amused by something. Do not say el-oh-el.

bee-are-bee

On a related note, BRB and Be Right Back have the same amount of syllables. It literally takes the same amount of time to say the words as it does the letters. I understand abbreviation & acronyms. I grew up a military brat where acronyms are a way of life. I have a love affair with NASA (itself an acronym) who I think make up names just for the sake of applying cool acronyms. (Case and point: DAFT, or the Dust and Aerosol Feasibility Test. Really, NASA? Really? I get the need for the research. Dust is bad. Dust without gravity is worse, but DAFT? That’s just daft.) But the point of an acronym is to save the trouble of spewing out long strings of words. Be right back is not a long string of words. It is, in fact, the opposite of a long string of words. Go right on ahead and display your mastery of the English language if you find you must momentarily excuse yourself from present company.

I-deer

Unless Apple has strayed into the production of hunting gizmos, the word is idea. I-dee-uh. Not an ‘R’ in sight. Stop it.

Stew-pihd-er

If this is a word you find yourself using in any other context than making fun of people who use the word stupider, get out.

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