I’m almost divorced. Emotionally I am no longer married. The State of Oklahoma thinks differently, but that’s just a piece of paper.
My marriage was little more than a blip on my life’s timeline (although it was in this period that the biggest and brightest part of said timeline was created in my daughter). When I look back in twenty years, my little four-year rebellious adventure will seem like a laughable amount of time. Right now, only nine months departed from walking out on my old life, it seems like I’ve wasted the greater part of my adult life. And at twenty-six it was half of my adult life. But the beauty of time is that it keeps marching on.
This blog is my grand writing experiment. Before I realized that my marriage had crumbled without my noticing I was a writer. An active one. When I finally screwed up the courage to leave a relationship that had managed to strip every ounce of taste, style, expression, and free-thought from my personality, I was afraid to write. I was nominally sure that all of my characters would end up bitter old cat-ladies who screamed “Fuck You!” in true Tourrette’s form.
I write for GeekMom.com but that’s not mine. Those are topics that I enjoy, for sure. But they aren’t mine. The articles are designed to please my editors and while they are fun, I chose to write according to what I think they will publish. It’s a great site, don’t get me wrong. But this site is mine. It’s really the first thing that is mine since I said “I Do” in 2006.
Unfortunately I was a victim of my own abuse. My ex did nothing worse then ignore me. I did everything possible to be paid attention to. I changed who I was, gave up the things I loved, and tried to be everything I thought my ex wanted. (Turns out he had found it already…in another woman…but that’s not what this is about). So I get to find myself again. This time without the aid and excuse of college, the copious amounts of requisite alcohol, and the ability to dye my hair in accordance with my mood. My employer would frown on that. That explains the name See Jenn Live. Pronounce it however you’d like. But this is what it is for Jenn (that’s me) to live, to be live, and to enjoy every freaking minute of it.
I’m a mom, a writer, a divorcee, and the some-time red head. And I will live. Ha.